Distance Makes the Heart Grow Irritated
by Fairady
Summary: It wasn't quite, 'Honey, I've got a headache,' but it was close enough. [Shikamaru x Temari]


Disclaimer: Don't own or make money offa this. Really, it wouldn't support my caffeine addiction.

Warnings: Hm, bit of strong language and sexual situations.

Notes: Ah the Het Challenge community is always fun. The request was for Shikamaru and Temari, "A humorous look at the two of them, because surely there's some hilarious insanity going on there."

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Irritated  
by fairady

-

-

She'd wasted _months_ preparing.

Weeks of learning how to quickly slip into that ridiculously lacy excuse of cloth without tearing the stupid thing hadn't exactly been an easy task for her after all. Temari normally wouldn't have had the patience for something so frivolous and girly, but she had convinced herself it would be worth it to try at least once.

Just once to see the look on Shikamaru's face when he saw her in it. Startling her laid-back boyfriend was a nearly impossible task, but she figured he couldn't be immune to being thrown onto a bed by a woman wearing nothing more than black silk and skin. She still owed him for the last time he got side-tracked by a shougi game and 'forgot' to meet her for dinner.

Not the usual romantic reason women gave for wearing teddies, but neither of them were very keen on romance to begin with. No, they were more interested in one-upping the other, loudly arguing with each other, and having really good sex whenever they could manage it. Hence the way too expensive cloth and her determination to get the damn thing on in under a minute despite the numerous straps and clasps that her fingers fumbled with at first.

It was the speed aspect that had nearly made her give the task up for impossible, because speed was necessary when one doesn't know when their boyfriend from another village would be able to drop in on a mission. Never mind the headache that came from trying to figure out how to spend some time together around said mission's parameters. Shikamaru actually visited twice before she could arrange things to fit her goal perfectly.

She'd _wasted_ months of her precious time preparing for this.

"You're not serious!" Temari hissed. Of all the stupid crap that could've happened... She glared black death at the man underneath her. "You can't be too tired to get it up!"

"What'd you expect," Shikamaru groaned piteously. "Coming out here isn't exactly the easiest of trips, especially not when I've got Rock Lee wanting to complete the mission in _four_ days."

"What the hell kind of excuse is that!?" Temari pushed herself up and sat on Shikamaru's stomach, making no attempt to be _gentle_ about it. After getting all her work thrown back into her face, she was entitled to pay back the lazy asshole.

She'd been _cooed_ over by a matronly woman who'd given her too much advice about 'reeling him in' while buying the stupid garment. The teddy itself was highly uncomfortable, pinching and itching because it wasn't really meant to be worn for very long. She'd endured teasing from _both_ of her brothers --and she was still going to get Kankurou for egging Gaara on-- about finally acting like a girl. All for what? Nothing, absolutely nothing!

"Temari," Shikamaru grunted when she shifted her weight to rest fully on his lowest ribs. She wasn't a small woman and the bones started bending in a rather pleasant way before he pushed her back. "Dammit, woman! That's a three day run done in two. I'm not some powerhouse that can do that and then fuck around for the night!"

"I see," Temari replied frostily, slipping off him to sit on the edge of the bed. "I'm just that damn ugly am I?"

Shikamaru cursed quietly before rolling over to wrap his arms around her waist. "You know that's not it, Temari. Now quit with the theatrics or I start calling you 'Ino.'"

"Start that, Nara," Temari glared venemously over her shoulder at him, "and I start cutting little bits off of you. Starting with your toes."

He snorted at the threat, clearly unimpressed by it. "I'm just tired, Temari," Shikamaru pulled her down to rest against his chest. One hand slid down to toy with the lace that curved over her chest. "This _is_ nice. Lemme get a bit of sleep, and I'll show you how much I really appreciate it."

Temari let herself get pulled back and considered bitching more. She was honestly pissed about the whole situation, but it was mostly at how her work had been wasted than at Shikamaru himself. Meetings where one or even both of them were too tired to do more than collapse onto the nearest suitable surface weren't exactly uncommon. Besides, Shikamaru had promised to make it up to her in his own way. Which pretty much gave her permission to do whatever she wanted with him, and he wouldn't be able to complain about it.

"Fine," Temari grinned, fitting herself into the curve of his neck and doing nothing to discourage his wandering hands. The silk wasn't as irritating with a warm hand tracing patterns across it. "But you'll damn well be making it up to me, Shikamaru!"

She could feel his smirk pressed against her forehead, "Yeah, yeah, so demanding."

"And you love it that way," Temari snapped back before closing her eyes and slowly falling asleep. She would need her rest too; she planned on making sure he was going to run funny all the way back to Konoha.

-

-


End file.
